One of the best things I was ever taught at uni was by my professor Dr Jodie Bradnam, who taught the 'Love, Sex and Relationships' class. Jodie taught me her secret for marriage and it really stuck with me. So much so, that I use it with my couples counselling clients.
Anyhow, the 'Marriage Jar' is a simple concept that the mind can easily 'get.' It is amazing how this simple idea can adjust one's behaviour every day. Basically, it works like this: When you are first together, the jar is full. As time goes by, the jar empties. For every kind gesture, kiss, supportive comment, intimate moment, lunch pack made, etcetera, a marble goes in. For every sarcastic remark, episode of not listening or avoidance of connection, five marbles come out. The “Marriage Jar” can even be a real jar. Some people put post-it notes of gratitude in for the other person. So that the partner knows they are appreciated and the little things do not go unnoticed. Notes that say, 'I love it when you bathe the kids without me asking.' 'You looked so hot the other night when we went out. ' I was impressed at your skills changing my car battery.' 'Thanks for paying that parking fine.' These little notes can mean so much to a couple that are under financial strain, have little time for date nights, or have a multitude of pressures. When a jar is running on empty for long periods, it cannot be sustained. One person will inevitably ditch, or release the pressure of conflict with a third party (cheating). These simple concepts are preventative measures. The marriage jar needs to be replenished regularly. It should be cherished and fed daily. What else fills the marriage jar? Kindness, thoughtfulness, appreciation, nurturing and encouragement are just a few things that can fill a marriage jar. Say, "Thank you." Say, "I fancy you." Say, "I think you are beautiful." Instead of noticing what your partner does not do, focus on the positives. We can't control another person, but we can reinforce behaviour that we like. www.ghitaandersen.com
8 Comments
12/10/2024 17:52:34
"This blog post about the ""Marriage Jar"" is simply inspiring! The concept of using a physical jar or notes to track positive interactions and gestures in a relationship is such a creative way to promote appreciation and connection between partners. I love how it emphasizes the importance of nurturing a marriage with kindness and gratitude, especially in times of stress. This simple yet profound idea can truly transform relationships, reminding us to focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives. Thank you for sharing such valuable insights that can help couples strengthen their bonds and keep their love thriving!"
Reply
19/12/2024 21:55:43
Car dealerships near me" is a popular search query for individuals seeking nearby car dealerships. Local dealerships offer the advantage of easy access to vehicles and the opportunity for in-person visits to view and test drive cars. It’s also easier to arrange service and repairs with a nearby dealership, ensuring a smoother overall experience for car buyers
Reply
25/12/2024 16:22:06
Nashville Detox Center: Explore top-rated detox centers in Nashville, TN. Receive expert medical care and compassionate support in a safe and comfortable environment. Begin your path to recovery at a trusted Nashville detox center.
Reply
28/12/2024 17:47:27
24/7 comprehensive care in a safe and supportive environment for individuals needing intensive mental health treatment.
Reply
30/12/2024 16:16:34
Engaging with blog posts by leaving thoughtful comments can help build relationships and drive traffic to your site.
Reply
30/1/2025 02:52:09
Gold IRA scams are a growing issue, with fraudulent companies promising unrealistic returns or charging hidden fees. It’s important to research and choose reputable firms to protect your retirement savings from fraud. Stay cautious and avoid offers that seem too good to be true.
Reply
30/1/2025 17:45:18
A Gold IRA is a retirement account that lets you invest in physical gold and other precious metals, helping protect your savings from inflation and market instability. It works like a traditional IRA but with gold as an asset.
Reply
30/1/2025 18:18:28
A Gold IRA lets you invest in physical gold for retirement. It helps diversify your portfolio and hedge against inflation, but comes with storage fees and specific regulations.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorFounder of Ghita Therapy - Ghita Andersen (B.Soc.Sci: Psych & Coun; Grad Cert FDR, Hypnosis Cert.) is a professionally trained Psychotherapist, Couples Counsellor, Hypnotherapist and a Federally Accredited Family Dispute Mediator (FDRP). Archives
October 2024
Categories |