first session info and quiz.
★★★★★ Google Review 2020: Marriage and Personal Counselling
I only have amazing things to talk about Ghita. She changed my life completely with her unique way of therapy. Thanks Ghita for helping me to become my best version and for changing my life. You are amazing. - Diogo Giglio, Palm Beach
I only have amazing things to talk about Ghita. She changed my life completely with her unique way of therapy. Thanks Ghita for helping me to become my best version and for changing my life. You are amazing. - Diogo Giglio, Palm Beach
NB: Family violence (including chronic verbal abuse) automatically discounts couples from marriage counselling.
When things are not perfect in your relationships, it can be daunting to consider help, and scary to admit to friends and family. However, marriage or couples counselling is a confidential process that has been proven, time and again, to have been a lifesaver for many couples. Most couples say that it was the best investment that they ever made in their family. In fact, 94% of couples who have undergone intensive workshops and regular couples counselling report a better relationship overall.
Recommended Read:
Groundrules for Couples Counselling
First Session Consultation
The first consultation is all about information gathering. Ghita will assess your suitability for couples counselling (stage of relationship damage), and determine which couples counselling method (Gottman, Narrative, Heart versus Ego etcetera) would best suit you as a couple.
Ghita will be interested to find out more about when your relationship problems began and to hear from each of you about what you think is causing the problems. Ghita may ask about when you last felt happy together and ask you to reflect on what has changed.
The aim is for both parties to feel equally heard, to work together as a solid team and to gather communication skills that build intimacy and understanding. Couples learn to invest in each other and to express emotional needs in a safe, supporting and non-judgemental environment.
First Hour
Couples counselling can be a daunting process because there are two sets of opinions needing to be heard, therefore it is important that you both trust and feel able to open up to your counsellor.
Because there is so much information to gather from two parties in one hour, Ghita may not begin exercises or offer tools to use at home until your second session. Please book a longer session for your first consult if you feel that you want to start exercises straight away.
NOTE: Counsellors cannot repair a relationship that has take years to become problematic in one session.
Relationship Repair Will Take on Average Between 4-12 Sessions
Sometimes Ghita will ask you to do a Gottman Couples Quiz to find out what your commitment levels are. There is a lot of information to get through to understand the problems. Please expect to invest in your relationship repair over several sessions.
First Session: Info Gathering
Session 2: Methods:
Ghita will decide on the most appropriate method depending on your situation. Here is a general guide:
Steps in Marriage Counselling:
Ghita focuses on the commitment and connection of a couple. To help demystify what couples therapy entails, Ghita has outlined her methods in the steps below.
Commitment is Critical
Commitment is one of the “weight-bearing walls” of Dr. John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House. It’s about demonstrating through your words and actions that you are in the relationship for better or for worse, and that you can count on each other. Commitment is critical regardless of your relationship status, whether you’re dating, cohabiting, or married. Without commitment, couples begin to nurture resentment for what they think is missing in their relationship instead of nurturing gratitude for what they have.
“Commitment is about choice. And it’s not just choosing your partner. It’s about choosing the relationship, day after day.”
The Gottman 7 Out of 10 Commitment Rule
If you would like help with your love relationship, but you are not living with your partner, you may be better off having individual counselling to talk things out. According to the Gottman Marriage Method, your commitment level needs to be at least 7/10. If you are unsure of your situation try the Tough Question Quiz below to discover your commitment level...
When things are not perfect in your relationships, it can be daunting to consider help, and scary to admit to friends and family. However, marriage or couples counselling is a confidential process that has been proven, time and again, to have been a lifesaver for many couples. Most couples say that it was the best investment that they ever made in their family. In fact, 94% of couples who have undergone intensive workshops and regular couples counselling report a better relationship overall.
Recommended Read:
Groundrules for Couples Counselling
First Session Consultation
The first consultation is all about information gathering. Ghita will assess your suitability for couples counselling (stage of relationship damage), and determine which couples counselling method (Gottman, Narrative, Heart versus Ego etcetera) would best suit you as a couple.
Ghita will be interested to find out more about when your relationship problems began and to hear from each of you about what you think is causing the problems. Ghita may ask about when you last felt happy together and ask you to reflect on what has changed.
The aim is for both parties to feel equally heard, to work together as a solid team and to gather communication skills that build intimacy and understanding. Couples learn to invest in each other and to express emotional needs in a safe, supporting and non-judgemental environment.
First Hour
Couples counselling can be a daunting process because there are two sets of opinions needing to be heard, therefore it is important that you both trust and feel able to open up to your counsellor.
Because there is so much information to gather from two parties in one hour, Ghita may not begin exercises or offer tools to use at home until your second session. Please book a longer session for your first consult if you feel that you want to start exercises straight away.
NOTE: Counsellors cannot repair a relationship that has take years to become problematic in one session.
Relationship Repair Will Take on Average Between 4-12 Sessions
Sometimes Ghita will ask you to do a Gottman Couples Quiz to find out what your commitment levels are. There is a lot of information to get through to understand the problems. Please expect to invest in your relationship repair over several sessions.
First Session: Info Gathering
- Both of you will tell your story – get a few things off your chest and be heard – perhaps for the first time in years. If there is time, reflective listening exercises will be used to elaborate on resentment and grievances, so that you understand each others viewpoints.
- Goals: Ghita will ask you to decide (as a team) what you want to achieve in therapy and what needs to be urgently tackled first.
Session 2: Methods:
Ghita will decide on the most appropriate method depending on your situation. Here is a general guide:
- Gottman: General Marriage Issues such as Communication Problems, Infidelity, Blame etc.
- Heart versus Ego - Andersen Method: Power Imbalances, Self-Sabotage, Infidelity
- Narrative Therapy: Second Marriages, Step-Children and Extended Family Interference
Steps in Marriage Counselling:
Ghita focuses on the commitment and connection of a couple. To help demystify what couples therapy entails, Ghita has outlined her methods in the steps below.
- Is the couple committed to their relationship (Yes or No?)
- If Yes: Discover core reasons for the insecurities each partner has with the other.
- Identify historical issues and how they trigger conflicts in your day to day life
- Encourage safe, honest and frequent communication
- Explore your expectations of yourself and each other
- Bond the 'Team' and rediscover trust and honesty with each other
- Create new mutual goals and boundaries
- Create a few basic ground rules to support the marriage
- Work towards intimacy with each other
- Maintenance of communication skills like 'Active Listening'
- Top ups: Revisit any issues that come up post-counselling
Commitment is Critical
Commitment is one of the “weight-bearing walls” of Dr. John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House. It’s about demonstrating through your words and actions that you are in the relationship for better or for worse, and that you can count on each other. Commitment is critical regardless of your relationship status, whether you’re dating, cohabiting, or married. Without commitment, couples begin to nurture resentment for what they think is missing in their relationship instead of nurturing gratitude for what they have.
“Commitment is about choice. And it’s not just choosing your partner. It’s about choosing the relationship, day after day.”
The Gottman 7 Out of 10 Commitment Rule
If you would like help with your love relationship, but you are not living with your partner, you may be better off having individual counselling to talk things out. According to the Gottman Marriage Method, your commitment level needs to be at least 7/10. If you are unsure of your situation try the Tough Question Quiz below to discover your commitment level...
Tough Question QUIZ:
Asking the right questions of yourself and your partner, helps to uncover the causes beneath issues. Scale your answer from 1 - 10.
Scoring: 1-5: No or not so important; 5-10: Yes or very important.
Answers:
If you score mostly low (under 7) on these questions, couples counselling may not be the best method.
Because Couples Counselling is a personal process, it is important to remember that there is an initial free 10 minute phone consultation available to help you decide whether Ghita would be a good fit for you as a couple.
Call Ghita today on 0439 888 070.
Asking the right questions of yourself and your partner, helps to uncover the causes beneath issues. Scale your answer from 1 - 10.
Scoring: 1-5: No or not so important; 5-10: Yes or very important.
- I share deeply personal information about myself with my spouse. (Score: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
- I find myself thinking about my spouse during the day.
- Because of my commitment to my spouse, I would not let others come between us.
- I receive considerable emotional support from my spouse.
- My relationship with my spouse is very romantic.
- I expect my love for my spouse to last for the rest of my life.
- I communicate well with my spouse.
- I legitimately expect to treat my partner as well as, or better than, they treat me.
- In a strong disagreement, I really believe that my partner is entitled to their opinion.
- Under duress, I have the courage and tenacity to seek my partner’s reality and the courage to express my reality when the stakes are high.
- Is it important to let your partner know what you think, feel, and are concerned about? (Even if they really can’t appreciate what they don’t understand.)
- How much do you care about the price your partner will have to pay? (Everything has a price and we always pay for it in some way.) Is it low or high?
Answers:
If you score mostly low (under 7) on these questions, couples counselling may not be the best method.
Because Couples Counselling is a personal process, it is important to remember that there is an initial free 10 minute phone consultation available to help you decide whether Ghita would be a good fit for you as a couple.
Call Ghita today on 0439 888 070.
