First Session: What to Expect
Unpacking The Issues
The first consultation is all about information gathering. Ghita will be interested to find out more about when your relationship problems began and to hear from each of you about what you think is causing the problems. Ghita may ask about when you last felt happy together and ask you to reflect on what has changed. The aim is for both parties to feel equally heard.
1st Session: Relationship Dynamics
In the first session, the therapist observes interactions and asks questions. Your counsellor will look at strengths and weaknesses in your relationship dynamic and determine what is working and what is problematic in your relationship; whether couples counselling will work for you in the long-term, or whether you are better off with individual sessions. *Please keep in mind that sometimes individual sessions are recommended to help the relationship and that this is normal. For example, if one person or both parties are bringing in old relationship issues (such as mistrust) or childhood issues into the relationship, Ghita will recommend individual counselling for a period of time before perhaps resuming couples counselling. Please do not take this personally or as a failure. It will be for the benefit of your union as a holistic whole.
Steps in Marriage Counselling:
Ghita focuses on the commitment and connection of a couple. To help demystify what couples therapy entails, Ghita has outlined her methods in the steps below.
Commitment is Critical
Commitment is one of the “weight-bearing walls” of Dr. John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House. It’s about demonstrating through your words and actions that you are in the relationship for better or for worse, and that you can count on each other. Commitment is critical regardless of your relationship status, whether you’re dating, cohabiting, or married. Without commitment, couples begin to nurture resentment for what they think is missing in their relationship instead of nurturing gratitude for what they have. Commitment levels will be determined in the first session relationship diagnostic. Couples Commitment Quiz
94% of couples who have undergone intensive workshops and regular couples counselling report a better relationship overall.
The first consultation is all about information gathering. Ghita will be interested to find out more about when your relationship problems began and to hear from each of you about what you think is causing the problems. Ghita may ask about when you last felt happy together and ask you to reflect on what has changed. The aim is for both parties to feel equally heard.
1st Session: Relationship Dynamics
In the first session, the therapist observes interactions and asks questions. Your counsellor will look at strengths and weaknesses in your relationship dynamic and determine what is working and what is problematic in your relationship; whether couples counselling will work for you in the long-term, or whether you are better off with individual sessions. *Please keep in mind that sometimes individual sessions are recommended to help the relationship and that this is normal. For example, if one person or both parties are bringing in old relationship issues (such as mistrust) or childhood issues into the relationship, Ghita will recommend individual counselling for a period of time before perhaps resuming couples counselling. Please do not take this personally or as a failure. It will be for the benefit of your union as a holistic whole.
- Both of you will tell your story – get a few things off your chest and be heard – perhaps for the first time in years.
- Ghita will ask you to decide (as a team) what you want to achieve in therapy and what needs to be urgently tackled first: This is often about communication styles and conflict resolution.
Steps in Marriage Counselling:
Ghita focuses on the commitment and connection of a couple. To help demystify what couples therapy entails, Ghita has outlined her methods in the steps below.
- Are both parties committed to their relationship (Yes or No?)
- If Yes: Discover core reasons for the insecurities each partner has with the other. (Viewpoints)
- Identify what the triggers are that cause conflict in your day to day life (These may come from your family of origin.)
- Encourage safe, honest and frequent communication (Full Truth: No minimising)
- Explore your expectations of yourself and each other (Gender Roles)
- Bond the 'Team' and rediscover trust and honesty with each other (Rediscover the Attachment)
- Create new mutual goals and boundaries (Love Maps)
- Create a few basic ground rules to support the marriage (New Marital Contract)
- Work towards intimacy with each other (Date Nights etc)
- Maintenance of communication skills like 'Active Listening' (Reflective Listening Workshop)
- Top ups: Revisit any issues that come up inbetween counselling sessions
Commitment is Critical
Commitment is one of the “weight-bearing walls” of Dr. John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House. It’s about demonstrating through your words and actions that you are in the relationship for better or for worse, and that you can count on each other. Commitment is critical regardless of your relationship status, whether you’re dating, cohabiting, or married. Without commitment, couples begin to nurture resentment for what they think is missing in their relationship instead of nurturing gratitude for what they have. Commitment levels will be determined in the first session relationship diagnostic. Couples Commitment Quiz
94% of couples who have undergone intensive workshops and regular couples counselling report a better relationship overall.
★★★★★ 5 Star Google Review: Marriage Counselling: 3 Step Package 2023:
Ghita provided real strategies that can be implemented to prevent conflict and more empathy within our relationships. We were able to be truthful and honest within ourselves from better self reflection and then she gave us the tools to be able to communicate our needs effectively. We both learnt how to actively listen to one another and remember the other person's needs are different. Ghita was absolutely warm and welcoming, would definitely recommend her intensive 3 step program, it has saved our marriage. - Nicole Eggleton (Coomera).
2nd SESSION:
Couples counselling can be a daunting process because there are two sets of opinions needing to be heard, therefore it is important that you both trust and feel able to open up to your counsellor. Ghita may introduce exercises during the second session and begin to target current issues that are most urgent. A common issue for couples is communication problems. *Please book a longer session if you feel that your story is complicated or if you want to start workshops straight away.
Relationship Repair Will Take on Average Between 4-8 Sessions
NOTE: Counsellors cannot repair a relationship that has take years to become problematic in one session. Please expect to invest in your relationship repair over several sessions.
The Ghita Therapy Combination: The Best of the Best - Worldwide:
Do you have a question regarding our services? Try our 10 min FREE Introductory Session.
If you’ve got any questions for Ghita before committing to a session or a package, please feel free to request a Free 10 Minute Call-Back via text or phone on 0439 888 070.
Couples counselling can be a daunting process because there are two sets of opinions needing to be heard, therefore it is important that you both trust and feel able to open up to your counsellor. Ghita may introduce exercises during the second session and begin to target current issues that are most urgent. A common issue for couples is communication problems. *Please book a longer session if you feel that your story is complicated or if you want to start workshops straight away.
Relationship Repair Will Take on Average Between 4-8 Sessions
NOTE: Counsellors cannot repair a relationship that has take years to become problematic in one session. Please expect to invest in your relationship repair over several sessions.
The Ghita Therapy Combination: The Best of the Best - Worldwide:
- Gottman Marriage Therapy (John and Julie Gottman, USA) - The Sound Relationship House/ 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse. Gottman Method
- Carl Rogers - Active / Reflective Listening (USA) - How to Complain Constructively, How to be Heard/ Listen Actively
- Family Dispute Resolution (Australia, UK & NZ) De-escalating Conflict and Stating Your Needs, Objective Rather Than Subjective (Removing Emotions)
- Esther Perel Methods (Belgium) - Infidelity (Why it Happens), The Gender Currencies, Motivations of Men and Women
- Family Therapy by Virginia Satir: The dynamics of the family system
- 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman, USA) You and Your Partner's Love Languages: The 5: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch.
- Narrative Therapy (Michael White and David Epston, NZ) - Externalising Problems to be Problems to be Worked on. Narrative Therapy
- Ghita Andersen: Heart versus Ego Method (Australia) - Negotiating Marital Agreements and Pre-Marital Contracts, The Relationship Triangle Concept, Codewords for Couples, Eye Gazing Exercise, Acting from Heart Not Ego: Benefit of Doubt, Arguing with Your Monkey Chatter. Heart Versus Ego Pre-Marriage Preparation Course
- Neuro-Linguistic Programming (Richard Bandler, John Grinder, USA) - How You Talk to Your Spouse, How to Reframe.
- Art Therapy: Externalising our Inner-Critic: Working out the strategies the Ego uses to create drama and division in the relationship and how to overcome this: Part of 3 Step Couples Package
Do you have a question regarding our services? Try our 10 min FREE Introductory Session.
If you’ve got any questions for Ghita before committing to a session or a package, please feel free to request a Free 10 Minute Call-Back via text or phone on 0439 888 070.
Family Violence Screening: Couples Counselling is not Appropriate for Abusive Relationships: If there is any history of domestic violence - including chronic verbal abuse, bullying or DVO's, we ask you to book in for Individual Counselling. Couples Counselling requires calmness, commitment and cooperation. Couples Counselling and Toxic Relationships
Sorry, No Children: Please understand that professional therapists DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN IN SESSIONS for the reasons of disruption to the therapeutic process, damage to persons and property, public liability insurance limitations and second floor locations. If you do bring children/ babies with you your appointment may be cancelled and charged for. Please organise a baby-sitter well in advance or consider Telehealth or a Mobile Session.
Healthfunds
Rebates may be available for members of Medibank, Bupa, Police Health, St Luke’s, CUA Health, Phoenix Health Fund and Emergency Services. However, we do not have any particular registrations with health Funds because there are so many. It is your responsibility to check before booking. Your online booking will automatically send you an emailed invoice receipt which you can submit if your provider will refund you. Invoices do not carry an item number. Please check with your provider before booking.
Copyright Ghita Andersen 2023. All Rights Reserved. Images by Maarlen Noordanus