I was recommended to you by two couples who said you were phenomenal as a Couple's Therapist and saved their marriages. E.P. (Palm Beach)
Couples Counselling and Coaching
Hi, my name is Ghita Andersen (B.Soc.Sci: Psych & Coun; Grad Cert FDR, Hypnosis Cert.) and I’m passionate about helping couples to negotiate the best relationship dynamic for them. Through my training as a Counsellor and Family Dispute Mediator at Bond University (Gold Coast), I use the best of the best Couples Counselling methods designed by the world's best relationships scientists and therapists - based on decades of research.
What Shape is Your Relationship in?
Like a house, relationships are built with a strong foundation, a robust framework and a sturdy, hard-wearing roof, complemented by gorgeous interior and exterior finishes. Each of these levels addresses a fundamental principle of relationship intimacy, and without one, a relationship will crumble. This is the metaphor of the Sound Relationship House (Gottman).
Are you struggling with arguments that never seem to get resolved? Are you both talking, but no one is listening? Do you feel lonely, sad or frustrated in your relationship?
Gentle Couples Coaching - Currumbin
A relationship counsellor for many years, I often hear people say, ‘I have been asking to go to therapy for ages, but my partner is unsure.’ I understand that Couples Therapy is very 'personal' and it does make people feel vulnerable and uncomfortable; afterall opening up about your deepest feelings isn’t always the easiest thing to do. But let me assure you, my relationship counselling encourages a non-blaming environment. Relationship counselling is about healing, communicating, and creating deeper connections with the person you love.
Regardless of how long you have been married, or the nature of your marital problems, Couples Therapy can offer huge benefits to a couple - provided that both parties are committed to repairing their relationship. Importantly, with a structured Couples Counselling process and gentle coaching, you can stop fighting, learn to listen and feel connected once more. Be Lovers Again! …Be Best Friends Again …Be Happy Again! And I have many happy stories of couples who have done just that. Testimonials
Through our sessions together, you can expect a transformative experience that promotes genuine understanding, mutual trust, personal and relationship growth.
"The best thing I can do as a therapist is to dismantle the relationship dynamic which erodes the affection and respect you have for each other: To unpack this dynamic (the what and the why) and reframe the way you think about reacting. Because unchecked, this dynamic can wreak havoc for years and lead to a mountain of hurt and resentment. " - Ghita
Although, couple's therapy is best as a preventative measure (before conflict becomes entrenched), many couples decide to come to counselling to learn to deal with conflict and bad communication.
Common Issues for Couples Are:
Relight the Fire: How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner
Once upon a time, your significant other was the one person you felt you could trust, depend on and ultimately be 'your' person - your one true love. Courtship can feel like the best thing you have ever experienced in your life, and is often referred to as one of the most exciting times in your life.
It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when everything is going well, the sun is shining, and employment is high. But when the power bill has not been paid, you’re tired or emotional, and your partner is getting cranky and blaming you for the problems in their life, that is when you get tested. You might not like what you see, and at times you might not feel like you really know this person any more and feel like your world is so small is perhaps impossible to change. These times in your relationship can be very hard, and at times overwhelming emotionally too...
Relationships grow stale generally because the couple avoids confronting the issues. Couples grow distant as a coping mechanism. That means, then, that falling in love, or back in love, is an intentional act. And while no one half of a duo can make things perfect, you can definitely do your part to refresh your relationship when things go stale.
How to Communicate and Reconnect with Each Other
If you have been married for a number of years, it can be challenging to come up with new and innovative ways to reconnect. Over time, couples become settled in a rhythm and routine that may eventually become mundane and even boring. Several sessions with a marriage counsellor, such as myself, can help a married couple look at each other with fresh eyes.
Being Heard, Being Validated, Being Seen
I can help each partner to learn to more carefully listen to what is being communicated to them, to reflect that message back to their partner and to then carefully proceed to send their own message back to their spouse. This process is called “Active Listening” (Carl Rogers) and is one of the most effective communication techniques ever taught to couples.
Very often, I will give weekly assignments to be completed between sessions to aid the process towards restored intimacy and reconnection. These assignments can be as simple as having a date night instead of eating at home every evening, or as intimate as asking a couple to restore their physical touch and to spice up their love life. With a new vision of each other and increased feelings of intimacy and emotional commitment, a couple may feel more reconnected to each other and encourage them to recommit to their marriage.
Progressive Research: The Best of the Best in Couples therapy
Marriage or Couples Counselling is a process based on decades of research, that has been proven, time and again, to have been a lifesaver for many relationships. For the last decade, I have combined world renowned approaches to help couples to successfully manage conflict, deepen friendship, intimacy and emotional connection and create a rich sense of shared meaning together.
Ghita Therapy Methods:
What Shape is Your Relationship in?
Like a house, relationships are built with a strong foundation, a robust framework and a sturdy, hard-wearing roof, complemented by gorgeous interior and exterior finishes. Each of these levels addresses a fundamental principle of relationship intimacy, and without one, a relationship will crumble. This is the metaphor of the Sound Relationship House (Gottman).
Are you struggling with arguments that never seem to get resolved? Are you both talking, but no one is listening? Do you feel lonely, sad or frustrated in your relationship?
Gentle Couples Coaching - Currumbin
A relationship counsellor for many years, I often hear people say, ‘I have been asking to go to therapy for ages, but my partner is unsure.’ I understand that Couples Therapy is very 'personal' and it does make people feel vulnerable and uncomfortable; afterall opening up about your deepest feelings isn’t always the easiest thing to do. But let me assure you, my relationship counselling encourages a non-blaming environment. Relationship counselling is about healing, communicating, and creating deeper connections with the person you love.
Regardless of how long you have been married, or the nature of your marital problems, Couples Therapy can offer huge benefits to a couple - provided that both parties are committed to repairing their relationship. Importantly, with a structured Couples Counselling process and gentle coaching, you can stop fighting, learn to listen and feel connected once more. Be Lovers Again! …Be Best Friends Again …Be Happy Again! And I have many happy stories of couples who have done just that. Testimonials
Through our sessions together, you can expect a transformative experience that promotes genuine understanding, mutual trust, personal and relationship growth.
"The best thing I can do as a therapist is to dismantle the relationship dynamic which erodes the affection and respect you have for each other: To unpack this dynamic (the what and the why) and reframe the way you think about reacting. Because unchecked, this dynamic can wreak havoc for years and lead to a mountain of hurt and resentment. " - Ghita
Although, couple's therapy is best as a preventative measure (before conflict becomes entrenched), many couples decide to come to counselling to learn to deal with conflict and bad communication.
Common Issues for Couples Are:
- Trust has been compromised in your relationship
- You’re not feeling heard
- You feel unacknowledged or under-appreciated
- You or your partner have become distant or withdrawn, anxious or clingy
- You are trying to repair things after an affair
- You or your partner have lost interest in sex
- The roles you have taken on (spouse, parent, bread winner) are not what you expected
- You’ve lost a sense of identity in the relationship
- Anger or stonewalling have become the predominate way you or your partner communicate
- There is a lot of blame and a lack of responsibility
Relight the Fire: How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner
Once upon a time, your significant other was the one person you felt you could trust, depend on and ultimately be 'your' person - your one true love. Courtship can feel like the best thing you have ever experienced in your life, and is often referred to as one of the most exciting times in your life.
It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when everything is going well, the sun is shining, and employment is high. But when the power bill has not been paid, you’re tired or emotional, and your partner is getting cranky and blaming you for the problems in their life, that is when you get tested. You might not like what you see, and at times you might not feel like you really know this person any more and feel like your world is so small is perhaps impossible to change. These times in your relationship can be very hard, and at times overwhelming emotionally too...
Relationships grow stale generally because the couple avoids confronting the issues. Couples grow distant as a coping mechanism. That means, then, that falling in love, or back in love, is an intentional act. And while no one half of a duo can make things perfect, you can definitely do your part to refresh your relationship when things go stale.
How to Communicate and Reconnect with Each Other
If you have been married for a number of years, it can be challenging to come up with new and innovative ways to reconnect. Over time, couples become settled in a rhythm and routine that may eventually become mundane and even boring. Several sessions with a marriage counsellor, such as myself, can help a married couple look at each other with fresh eyes.
Being Heard, Being Validated, Being Seen
I can help each partner to learn to more carefully listen to what is being communicated to them, to reflect that message back to their partner and to then carefully proceed to send their own message back to their spouse. This process is called “Active Listening” (Carl Rogers) and is one of the most effective communication techniques ever taught to couples.
Very often, I will give weekly assignments to be completed between sessions to aid the process towards restored intimacy and reconnection. These assignments can be as simple as having a date night instead of eating at home every evening, or as intimate as asking a couple to restore their physical touch and to spice up their love life. With a new vision of each other and increased feelings of intimacy and emotional commitment, a couple may feel more reconnected to each other and encourage them to recommit to their marriage.
Progressive Research: The Best of the Best in Couples therapy
Marriage or Couples Counselling is a process based on decades of research, that has been proven, time and again, to have been a lifesaver for many relationships. For the last decade, I have combined world renowned approaches to help couples to successfully manage conflict, deepen friendship, intimacy and emotional connection and create a rich sense of shared meaning together.
Ghita Therapy Methods:
- Gottman Marriage Therapy (John and Julie Gottman, USA) - The Sound Relationship House/ 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse. Gottman Method
- Carl Rogers - Active / Reflective Listening (USA) - How to Complain Constructively, How to be Heard/ Listen Actively
- Family Dispute Resolution (Australia, UK & NZ) De-escalating Conflict and Stating Your Needs, Objective Rather Than Subjective (Removing Emotions)
- Experiential Family Therapy (Virginia Satir) Feeling Seen. Heard, Touched and Important
- Esther Perel Methods (Belgium) - Infidelity (Why it Happens), The Gender Currencies, Motivations of Men and Women
- Developmental Model of Couples Therapy (USA) - Ellyn Bader: Bonding, Differentiation, Practicing, Rapproachement, Synergy: “He/She is telling me about their experience of me. They aren’t talking ABOUT ME.”
- 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman, USA) You and Your Partner's Love Languages: The 5: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch.
- Narrative Therapy (Michael White and David Epston, NZ) - Externalising Problems to be Problems to be Worked on. Narrative Therapy
- Ghita Andersen: Heart versus Ego Method (Australia) - Negotiating Marital Agreements and Pre-Marital Contracts, The Relationship Triangle Concept, Codewords for Couples, Eye Gazing Exercise, Acting from Heart Not Ego: Benefit of Doubt, Arguing with Your Monkey Chatter. Heart Versus Ego Pre-Marriage Preparation Course
- Neuro-Linguistic Programming (Richard Bandler, John Grinder, USA) - The Language Influence: How to Talk to Your Spouse, How to Reframe.
★★★★★ Testimonial: Marriage and Individual Counselling: "My psychologist recommended you as some of her clients had done couples counselling and said that you were very direct and got straight into doing the work of unpacking the issues. I thought that was just what we needed for our situation. We didn't want the type of approach that would take weeks to make any progress. Thank you so much Ghita." - Angela (Couples Counseling: Currumbin).
★★★★★ Marriage Counselling Testimonial: "We got married! Ghita, thank you so much for what you have done for our family!" Mr & Mrs Lees (Couples Counselling, Gold Coast).
★★★★★ Feedback Testimonial Marriage Counselling 2022
We had been to Couples Counselling before with another counsellor. We felt we were being sold a package last time rather than doing the work, so we did not achieve much. I was convinced that we were separating and it was too late. This session was very different. Ghita nailed our problem and made us negotiate. After many years of arguing over the same thing, she showed us how to do deals. We should have done a pre-marital agreement long ago. I can see that now. I was of the mindset to leave, but one hour turned it around for us. We negotiated our personal time and even had a contingency plan for when things went wrong. Our homework was to fill in a full agreement covering all the other points we did not cover in session and to stick this on the back of a cupboard door. We both agree this session was nothing like what we expected. Thank you Ghita. - Jessica & Andrew. (Hope Island Gold Coast)
Couples Counselling FAQ:
First Session Relationship Diagnostic:
The first session is designed to diagnose what is not working in your relationship and to determine whether couples counselling would work for you or whether you are better off with individual sessions.
We Tried Couples Counselling Before And it Didn't Help
Common statements that I hear from new couples who have previously tried Couples Counselling (unsuccessfully) are:
'It was too softly, softly.'
'Too slow to unpack the issues.' 'We weren't getting anywhere.'
'One partner did not gel with the counsellor.'
'We felt that we were sold a 'package' that we didn't need.'
'We were actually worse after sessions.'
'We gave up after one session...'
'We did not like Emotional Focused Couples therapy.'
When Will Couples Counselling Not Work?
Couples therapy usually doesn’t work when there is:
- A history of abuse or violence between partners (can include emotional, physical, financial, serious verbal or sexual abuse).
- An active or untreated mental illness or addiction with one (or both) partners.
- Active Affair: One or both parties are engaged in infidelity and lack the motivation to give those outside relationships up for the good of the primary relationship.
- One or both parties have already made the decision to separate or divorce.
Creating Deeply Connected Relationships
Couples counselling is a process that requires an open heart and full trust in the professionalism of your therapist. Rapport is absolutely vital. Furthermore, sometimes, people are not ready to make changes until one person talks about separation. However, you have to understand that a relationship that has broken down over years does not become healed in one session. Attending counselling as issues arise and not leaving things to long; as well as trusting your therapist. I will challenge you on what you bring to the relationship and sometimes this means a reality check, pure honesty and owning your part in the problems.
How Long does Therapy Take?
Just as seeing a chiropractor once does not necessarily fix your back problems, Couples Therapy requires commitment to repairing your issues. Most couples invest in 4-8 hours to overcome or negotiate their differences and then book in for twice annual top-ups (maintenance), or as required.
How Much is It?
Couples Counselling is normally $200 per hour. To get the most out of therapy, look under the 'Packages and Specials' tab for our monthly offers...
Remarkable Relationship Repair Workshops
Because I want to get you working as a team, I will help you to understand the relationship patterns underlying your problems. Subsequently, I recommend more than an hour for a workshop. I understand that each couple is unique and so the guidance and coaching will be tailored to your specific challenges and circumstances. Consequently, if your relationship is repairable, you should see progress after each session.
How Much Have You Invested in Your Relationship?
It takes a lot of courage to book in for Couples Counselling, and I applaud that, but it may be the best investment you ever make in your relationship or family. There are many happy stories in our Reviews and Testimonials page...
Because Couples Counselling is a personal process, it is important to remember that there is an initial free 10 minute phone consultation available. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask questions. Call me today on 0439 888 070.
The first session is designed to diagnose what is not working in your relationship and to determine whether couples counselling would work for you or whether you are better off with individual sessions.
We Tried Couples Counselling Before And it Didn't Help
Common statements that I hear from new couples who have previously tried Couples Counselling (unsuccessfully) are:
'It was too softly, softly.'
'Too slow to unpack the issues.' 'We weren't getting anywhere.'
'One partner did not gel with the counsellor.'
'We felt that we were sold a 'package' that we didn't need.'
'We were actually worse after sessions.'
'We gave up after one session...'
'We did not like Emotional Focused Couples therapy.'
When Will Couples Counselling Not Work?
Couples therapy usually doesn’t work when there is:
- A history of abuse or violence between partners (can include emotional, physical, financial, serious verbal or sexual abuse).
- An active or untreated mental illness or addiction with one (or both) partners.
- Active Affair: One or both parties are engaged in infidelity and lack the motivation to give those outside relationships up for the good of the primary relationship.
- One or both parties have already made the decision to separate or divorce.
Creating Deeply Connected Relationships
Couples counselling is a process that requires an open heart and full trust in the professionalism of your therapist. Rapport is absolutely vital. Furthermore, sometimes, people are not ready to make changes until one person talks about separation. However, you have to understand that a relationship that has broken down over years does not become healed in one session. Attending counselling as issues arise and not leaving things to long; as well as trusting your therapist. I will challenge you on what you bring to the relationship and sometimes this means a reality check, pure honesty and owning your part in the problems.
How Long does Therapy Take?
Just as seeing a chiropractor once does not necessarily fix your back problems, Couples Therapy requires commitment to repairing your issues. Most couples invest in 4-8 hours to overcome or negotiate their differences and then book in for twice annual top-ups (maintenance), or as required.
How Much is It?
Couples Counselling is normally $200 per hour. To get the most out of therapy, look under the 'Packages and Specials' tab for our monthly offers...
Remarkable Relationship Repair Workshops
Because I want to get you working as a team, I will help you to understand the relationship patterns underlying your problems. Subsequently, I recommend more than an hour for a workshop. I understand that each couple is unique and so the guidance and coaching will be tailored to your specific challenges and circumstances. Consequently, if your relationship is repairable, you should see progress after each session.
- Recommended: Couples Intensive: Unpackaging the Issues: 2 Hours
How Much Have You Invested in Your Relationship?
It takes a lot of courage to book in for Couples Counselling, and I applaud that, but it may be the best investment you ever make in your relationship or family. There are many happy stories in our Reviews and Testimonials page...
Because Couples Counselling is a personal process, it is important to remember that there is an initial free 10 minute phone consultation available. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask questions. Call me today on 0439 888 070.
Ask Ghita for a call-back if you have any questions
In order to encourage online bookings, we are offering Promo Code Discounts on our booking system this month: *One per new client or couple
Family Violence Screening: Couples Counselling may not be appropriate for abusive relationships: If there is any history of abuse, including chronic verbal abuse, emotional, financial, physical abuse, bullying, neglect and coercion or DVO's I ask that you talk to me prior to booking. Couples Counselling requires calmness, commitment and cooperation. Couples Counselling and Toxic Relationships
Sorry, No Children: Please understand that I DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN IN SESSIONS for the reasons of disruption to the therapeutic process, damage to persons and property, public liability insurance limitations and second floor locations. If you do bring children/ babies with you your appointment may be cancelled and charged for. Please organise a baby-sitter well in advance.
Couples Packages:
Couples Saturday Retreat $800 - Save $140
Select 'Couples Retreat - Full Day Saturdays' under Couples Counselling on the booking system.
Package One: Gottman 3 Step Package $900 - Save $140
Select 'Package One: 3 Step Gottman Package' under Couples Counselling on the booking system.
Package Two: Pre-Marriage Contract (3 Hour Workshop): $550 - Save $50 (Pre Wedding or Living Together).
Select 'Package Two: Pre-Marriage Contract Workshop' under Couples Counselling on the booking system.
Select 'Couples Retreat - Full Day Saturdays' under Couples Counselling on the booking system.
Package One: Gottman 3 Step Package $900 - Save $140
Select 'Package One: 3 Step Gottman Package' under Couples Counselling on the booking system.
Package Two: Pre-Marriage Contract (3 Hour Workshop): $550 - Save $50 (Pre Wedding or Living Together).
Select 'Package Two: Pre-Marriage Contract Workshop' under Couples Counselling on the booking system.
Health Funds:
All online bookings receive an automatic email invoice/ receipt so that you don't have to ask for one. Rebates may be available for members of Medibank, Bupa, Police Health, St Luke’s, CUA Health, Phoenix Health Fund and Emergency Services. However, as things change so often please check with your provider before booking. We do not have any particular registrations with Health Funds.
*All couples bookings are online.
All online bookings receive an automatic email invoice/ receipt so that you don't have to ask for one. Rebates may be available for members of Medibank, Bupa, Police Health, St Luke’s, CUA Health, Phoenix Health Fund and Emergency Services. However, as things change so often please check with your provider before booking. We do not have any particular registrations with Health Funds.
*All couples bookings are online.
Excellent Pre-Reading for Couples:
'Ghita was absolutely warm and welcoming, would definitely recommend her intensive three step package, it has saved our marriage.' - Nicole
★★★★★ 5 Star Google Review: Marriage Counselling: 3 Step Package 2023:
Ghita provided real strategies that can be implemented to prevent conflict and more empathy within our relationships. We were able to be truthful and honest within ourselves from better self reflection and then she gave us the tools to be able to communicate our needs effectively. We both learnt how to actively listen to one another and remember the other person's needs are different. Ghita was absolutely warm and welcoming, would definitely recommend her intensive 3 step program, it has saved our marriage. - Nicole Eggleton (Coomera).
Copyright 2023 Ghita Andersen. Photos by Ghita Andersen and Freepik. #couplescounsellinggoldcoast
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