★★★★★ Testimonial: "I searched for counsellors on Google and I chose Ghita because she looked friendly and easy to talk to. For the sake of my marriage, I am glad that I did." - Jaime, (60) Robina.
The highly recommended techniques used for marriage therapy were designed by John Gottman - world renowned relationship researcher with over 40 years experience. More info.... Ideal as a first package for couples, the Gottman 3 Step Package consists of:
The Gottman package must completed in consecutive order:
First 2 hour Couples intensive
Ghita will look for evidence of the Four Horsemen: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling.
Each partner spends an hour with Ghita looking at their relationship hopes, commitment and personal needs/ values.
Second 2 hour Couples intensive
In the second two hour intensive couples session, comes the repair and planning of a Sound Relationship House. These are nine components of a healthy relationship which consist of:
Making life dreams come true
Creating shared meaning
Building love maps
Sharing fondness and admiration
Turning towards and not away from each other
NB: Clients are always encouraged to do top-up sessions afterwards as required.
Special Package Price = $900 - Save $100
Terms and Conditions: *No refunds on unused hours: I.e: Client walkouts *The consecutive order of the package is vital to it's success *Due to the time bracket involved these packages must be prepaid via the website for a confirmed booking *Valid for 3 months from purchase Skills Learned in Repair Session:
Fair fighting rules
Validating each other
Listening and paraphrasing
Shutting down arguments
Using partner's love language for benefit
Turning towards not away
Example of Active Listening Exercise for Couples Greg: I have absolutely had it with George today! Nothing I say to him seems to make a difference to him and I’m tired of feeling like I am talking to a wall! (Expressing emotions, frustration and anger. Using “I” statements to claim his own emotions.)
Alisha: Sounds like you are really frustrated with George, and pretty upset too. What are you trying to talk to him about? (Reflecting back what Greg has said to her and asking for more information – showing interest.)
Greg: Yes, I am totally frustrated with him! I have told him several times today that I need this order completed no later than tomorrow because a client has been waiting on it and he just keeps blowing me off. (Verifies that Alisha received the message clearly and expanding on his feelings and the reasons behind them.) Alisha: I’m sorry it has been so frustrating. (Again verifying that she is receiving Greg’s message.)
Ghita's Note: Rather than offering solutions, Alisha is instead just offering support and validation to Greg. A common mistake is trying to fix our spouse's problem. Furthermore, when we can't fix things we can get defensive and back off, or things may escalate into fights. The use of reflective or active listening helps Greg to feel heard and understood. He may not be looking for solutions, so much as needing to be heard. Sometimes solutions come afterwards, and sometimes just being listened to is all a partner needs. As the conversation continues, each spouse will take turns offering their own message and letting it be verified by their partner before contributing their own message. This form of communication takes more effort and may even take longer because it is “active” and does not allow us to jump forward to think about our own contribution until we have taken the time to verify the message we are receiving. However, the tremendous benefit from using active listening as a communication skill is that it avoids misunderstandings, improves personal responsibility for emotions, allows for clearer messages to be sent and improves empathy.
Copyright 2019 Ghita Andersen. Photo by Ghita Andersen