Self-esteem is everything. It is the natural vibe around you that promotes your identity. It says, I am worthy, I can do this, I deserve what I want, I can have this.
Indeed, the view you have of yourself skews your world to being either positive or negative. In psychology we call this thinking 'attribution theory.' An example of this is how some people are always broke or sick. You can bet that their external and internal narrative is negative, and that they literally push away many avenues for getting support, love, abundance or wellness. By talking about something, you reinforce it. The same goes for thinking about something over, and over. A basic idea becomes concreted into the mind and then the automatic pilot (attribution) takes these thoughts as short cuts and runs with them without any effort at all.
The old phrase, "What you think about comes about' is actually scientific. The mind creates, controls, destroys, rejects, loves, hates and ignores before it is even conscious thought. However, you can control the mind with practice and reinforcement. It is not about looking externally to find our self-worth. NO.
No one person can or will give us 100% of what we need.
Therefore, we have to get it for ourselves. I am not saying that you will never doubt yourself again, or never feel intimidated by someone better than you, that is impossible. But, you can weed out a good percentage of of this automatic control system; and when you do feel that you have more control over the outcome of events in your life, there is less frustration, less doubt, and fewer people can take away your power.
I am an expert on self-esteem, it is my biggest challenge. Most people think I am extremely confident; and I am on the outside, but I battle daily with memories of rejection and harsh words heard in childhood. The only person that can help you forward, through the painful limiting beliefs created during your childhood, is one who has overcome the very thing that you struggle with.
Moreover, this is what many people come to see me about for life coaching. These clients know full well what they need to do, but they have an invisible barrier of fear that paralyses them from doing what they need to get the life that the want.
Methods for increasing self-esteem
1. Regression: Look at the specific moments in time that caused the self-doubt (we will get nowhere if the hurdles aren't eliminated)
2. Exercise these events, speak of them until they matter no more than a mild annoyance. (I use a combination of NLP, rehearsal, and CBT for this.)
3. Look at the methods you used to stall or sabotage the progress before (this can then be used in strategies)
4. Exactly specify the goals/ dreams one wants to achieve
5. Create a strategy for achieving the goals at a pace that is comfortable (baby steps work too)
6. Keep up the momentum for the work. Check in, reassess, tweak, tweak, tweak...
Talk to me about overcoming a lack of self-esteem, I will understand completely. I have clients who are discovering themselves and working on their self-love. And you too can work towards eliminating the negative voice (internal critic), and planning the new you. How exciting!!
Call or SMS for a free 10 minute phone chat on 0439 888 070.